"Dad, can you put my shoes on?" "No, I don't think they'll fit me."
"Dad, can you put the cat out?" "I didn't know it was on fire."
"Dad, did you get a haircut?" "No, I got them all cut!"
"Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I'm not going to spread it!"
"How do you get a squirrel to like you? Act like a nut."
"How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it."
"How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together."
"How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles."
"I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something."
"My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and
right!"
"This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in."
"What concert costs just 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickelback!"
"What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese."
"What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows."
"What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers!"
"What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y."
"Why can't a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot."
"Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired."
"Why did the math book look so sad? Because of all of its problems!"
"Why don't eggs tell jokes? They'd crack each other up."
